To Date or not to Date

Dating today, for lack of a better word, is more complicated than ever before. The isolation imposed by COVID-19 on society caused many social batteries to run out quickly. Physically meeting compatible people in unexpected places seems to be a thing of the past, but online dating is anything but ideal. Putting oneself out there feels like an uneasy interview, made worse by other life stressors. There are also high expectations to which people underestimate their self-worth or give up looking solely because they don’t think they can find a meaningful connection. The world of dating is luck-based, and there’s no guarantee which method of finding people is the most accurate. Trial and error can last years. Maybe even decades, which is fine because connections take time. However, the bittersweet taste of watching loved ones and friends find what you couldn’t, while settling down, can sting. Life shouldn’t be about comparisons, but it’s in people’s human nature to do so unintentionally. Each day is another reminder that it’s a solo mission to seek what we crave the most, either with ourselves or in a relationship.

Pressure is in the air. Whether in the form of relatives asking when you’ll settle down the same way they did, friends joking about how you’re still the single one in the group, or mass media content delivering the message of how finding a significant other before a certain age is the norm. It can ruin your own vision of what a sustainable future is for yourself. Online dating apps often give more stress than pleasure due to profit being prioritized. While it’s convenient to gloss through different profiles in the comfort of home, it limits the experience of putting in the extra effort to get to know someone in person from the start. Users may also scroll through potential matches who had mediocre profile-making skills. Online dating can work for people and seems to be this era’s go-to form of dating. Flirting today in this era with likes, shares, emojis, online chats, and Face-time takes getting used to emotionally. Disconnect can come easy and the fear of rejection brings avoidance into the equation. It begs the question whether society will ever go back to old-fashioned forms of dating with no need for technology and more moments of mundane enjoyment.  

What are you looking for is a loaded question that you may never truly know the answer to. Love comes in many shapes and forms, evolving through the ages. For many, staying single while focusing on acceptance and independence can be just as satisfying as finding compatible partners, if not more so. Deciding what works best for you is an adventure, and mistakes are inevitable. The goal is to discover what brings the most joy and structure into your life.